An Introduction

Sooooo, it's 2014... and I've decided... New Year... ummm ok... not new "me"... but anyway... new start! As... well... last year really wasn't much to shout from the rooftops about! 

And yes.. you may have noticed that the date is NOT 1/1/2014.... that's because erm life has a habit of getting in the way... but... any of you lovely people who decide to read this stuff and don't already know me in the "real" world outside of cyber space... might benefit (or not!) from a little introduction.... So here goes...

 Hi! The name my mom gave me is Elspeth... but people who can't say Elspeth, can call me Ellie (believe me it's sooo much easier than being called variations on the theme of something sounding suspiciously like elephant...)  or they may just prefer to call me Ellie anyway....short and ummm...sweet. (People who address mail to me in the mistaken belief that I don't actually know my own name and therefore am actually called Elizabeth despite what I have typed in the postal details section on websites... ahem... lets move swiftly on!)

Anyways... How come I find the time to sit here and type this rambling stuff for all and sundry to see? Well... I am... erm.... unique... ok... interesting... ok... at the time of writing the Department of Work and Pensions has accepted that the chances of me finding an employer who will offer me a job based on what my body (notice I didn't say brain here folks!) feels like doing at any given moment is ahem... not good... So.. I said my body decides what it feels like doing on a moment to moment basis...which can mean my sitting balance behaves one minute but not the next, ditto hands (hand/eye coordination, tremor (the shakes), high muscle tone/rigidity), ditto arms (see hands) ditto legs/feet (see hands and arms). Oh and my speech is intermittently a mix between slightly sloshed and even my mom going..."What was that dear?" Add to that a brain that interprets 2/3 of speech info that it gets... with a large dollop of creative license... unless I can use lipreading to help it out... and... Basically... its like my brain (mostly!) is the adult and my body is a very stroppy toddler/teenager (take your pick... the two are interchangeable lol!) Brain:  I would like you arm to reach out and pick up that cup... Arm: nah I don't feel like it right now.... 5 minutes later "Leg" flies up in the air... (This kind of goings on is why it is rather dangerous to be walking in front of me and then suddenly stop if I am out in my power chair... need I say more???) Ohhhh I forgot to mention that as of half way through last year.... I have basically no short term or working memory... great for forgetting stuff you'd rather forget... not so great for remembering important stuff you ummm.... need to remember??? And no post its and notes don't work as I don't remember where they are... or they have to be a novella in order for me to know what it is I am writing a note about when I re-read the note.... Plus the coordination/manual dexterity (posh term for ability to use your hands well) issues mean my handwriting is often ahem... rivalling a doctors for legibility... even to myself... if I can remember to write the note...I think you might get the idea! I usually ask people who are phoning to write/email me with a summary of the phone call if it's important that I remember what went on in it...All of this ahem interestingness... is summed up as what I call F.U.N.S (Fudged Up Nervous System - a strictly unofficial "diagnosis" I should add... but hey... it helps to have a shorthand term for things). But... aside from being a bit of a pain, FUNS does leave me with lots of time  (when I am not in HMP The National...may explain more about this in future posts)to indulge my creative side...card making... card making... oh and more card making - the knitting needles had to be retired in the interests of Public Health and Safety (if only long distance knitting needle throwing was a Paralympic event!) - and hey.... maybe sometime in the future someone will realise that that set of skills they really need in their workplace is the cocktail waitress/person who kicks the goals in rugby (yeah really long winded title... I don't watch sport that much at all... just know this type of person exists lol but not their official title)... (because I just may be ideally suited to that unique job specification!) 

 Anyhow... that's a little introduction to the ahem... slightly mad  world of me myself and I... Pleas do continue to follow my erm... exploits :D