In a dark dark town...

...there was a dark, dark street
and in the dark, dark street there was a dark, dark house,
and in the dark, dark house there were some dark, dark stairs
and down the dark, dark stairs there was a dark, dark cellar
and in the dark, dark cellar 3 skeletons lived,

 Classic childrens tv... and almost true to life as is at 59 Millview Meadows as I type... Well... nearly...Sort of... If you forget that there isn't any stairs.... or a cellar... and  as of yet the inhabitants aren't very skeleton-like... But the street IS starting to get very dark now... and the lights in the hallway have blown... so... the house/flat is dark... well...1/5 of it is...

Ok so I maybe I just really liked FunnyBones... :D and saw a  teeny weeny connection to present circumstances... and voila... this post :D (Just checking the batteries in the torch and putting it safely on the bedside table... Just in case!)

The Great Thickner SNAFU...

OK... so maybe it's not quite equal to The Great Train Robbery... but... since I have now been put onto a "Soft Food and Level 1 Thickened Fluids" only (well more like mainly... you're allowed a few old favourites... in a modified form... even if they aren't strictly on the list... just not all the time!) diet... as quite a lot food (and any unthickened liquid (drink or soup... etc) is what I call "adventurous"... and "takes the alternative route" i.e. attempts to go down the windpipe... NOT the way it's supposed to be going! Cue quite a bit of coughing and spluttering... which usually clears things... The Heimlich Manouveure (hug person from behind... joining hands together in a fist under rib cage... thrust inwards and upwards several times, hopefully dislodging obstruction in airway) has so far not been required!

What is required though... is  thickener for fluids... Now... there are presently TWO brands of thickener on the market... "Thick n Easy" and "Resource Thicken Up" (which I keep calling RoundUp... eeek! RoundUp is a WEEDKILLER preparation!) Now...  Thick n Easy it transpires... comes in different sizes of tub to Resource Thicken Up... Which comes in a tub or a box of individual sachets.... Here's where the confusion starts!  It was thought that it was Thick n Easy that came in the tub or sachets... and that Resource Thicken Up came in the larger tub... So I was slightly confused to get  sachets with the "wrong" name on... The confusion continued when the tub of thickener arrived at the pharmacy... It had turned into several smaller tubs! Never mind! They are easier to store!  Plus the newer thickener is apparently better for pre-preparing drinks as well (Good news if I need to take a packed lunch somewhere!)...

So a lot of confuzzlation (confusion but fuzzier... brain fog confusion!) but all's well that ends well :D

Crazy....

Plane Lady!

You've heard of Crazy Cat Lady... (obsessed with cats...).... Well... Now... for your education... I announce there is a new woman on the block! Crazy Plane Lady is obsessed with... planes! (Simples! eh?) Or to be more specific... with photographing planes... 

How do I happen to come by knowledge of this fascinating (to other plane spotting folk) creature? I live very close to an airport... and have been sharing my house with her for the past 5/6 days. 

Crazy Plane Lady has this amazing ability to hear the sound of  planes... and know if they are approaching, going in the wrong direction... or just moving about on the tarmac at the airport... It's almost like she's got radar... "Stop! A plane is approaching! I'm gonna get a photo THIS time!" is an oft heard mantra...no matter what is occurring... (Well almost no matter... I've not been abandoned in the shower... yet!)  

As is "Dog Nabbit (or something slightly earthier)...! It was going in completely the wrong direction!"  (This is a particularly fascinating thing about Crazy Plane Lady.... How did she know this? Surely the pilot would be heading in the right direction... or he (it's rarely a she) is really not a very good pilot!) 

So there you have it folks... Crazy Plane Lady... a woman who is determined to be like the Mounties and always get her photo of that plane... Or something like that... (if she takes to photographing men... and therefore "always gets her photo of that man"... you will hear it here first... once I've bailed her out of the nick for being a stalker!) I tell you... the person who figured out how to get a camera into a mobile phone... has a LOT to answer for! 

California Dreamin'....

All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray.
I've been for a walk on a winter's day.
I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A.;
California dreamin' on such a winter's day.
 
 Crazy weather.... Wind and driving rain... then sunshine again! Arrrgh! 

Don't think that the UK is quite at the "all the leaves are brown" stage yet... well not here at least! But... it sure was windy when Adriana and I at last ventured out when the rain had stopped (to get batteries... otherwise the door chime that I use to alert her to the fact that I need help.. when my "singing" is either sung out (every note would be a "bum" note!) or would be ineffective... was being ahem... temperamental...)... and dreaming of  being somewhere else... seems a good idea! Not sure about California though...Hmmm... Where else is warm and sunny at the end of October?
 

"Danger Zone"

What? Where? Who? How? What's all this about DANGER? Well... living in within any close range of me can be a little bit... risky... ;)

To start off with... there's Querida Jaunita... To me she's great... But other people... well they think that I need to have someone walking (ok running!) in front of me ringing a hand bell (or something like that!)...Similar to what happened when motor cars were first used on British roads... OK they didn't move very fast by today's standards.. in fact they went at something approaching 2 miles an hour... but to a population who up to then had only walked, used pedal cycles, or horses/horse drawn carriages... they were something to be warned of!  So... someone walked in front of them... ringing a hand bell.  Hmmm... I wonder if the Mobot has any time on his hands? 

Then there's the after hair-wash turban-making ritual. Hey... I don't have long hair any more... sob... so it's my only chance to do the Clairol "Because You're Worth It"... head tossing thing... Just don't get anywhere within 3 meters of me whilst I'm doing it... or your get  slapped on the head with a towel! (Adriana can vouch for this!) 

Hey... who said life has to be boring? 


 

"One way...."

"...or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meeeee....." {{{{CRASH!!!!!}}}


[Benevolent passer by scoops up dazed and bewildered "singer".... who not deterred by the experience is still raring to go]

...The unfortunate consequence of having a dog that likes chasing flies (and other small, buzzing, flying. creatures)... on an oil rig... 

 This is dedicated to Pippa Grant... oh and Emily Grant... who I think is inclined to think that "One way or another....."

"Steamy....Glasses"????

Some of you out there may like Tina Turner... In that case... let me assure you that I do too... and apologise for ahem... slightly massacring a very very good song of hers...



I WAS THINKING ABOUT PARKING THE OTHER NIGHT

WE WAS OUT ON THE BACK ROAD
ME AND MY WOMAN WAS JUST GETTIN' RIGHT
OUR SYSTEMS ON OVERLOAD
THE RADIO BLASTING IN THE FRONT SEAT
TURNING OUT THE MUSIC FINE
WE WAS SNUGGLED UP IN THE BACK SEAT
MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME

STEAMY WINDOWS - ZERO VISIBILITY
STEAMY WINDOWS - COMING FROM THE BODY HEAT

YOU CAN WINE AND DINE A WOMAN ALL NIGHT
WITH GOOD INTENTIONS
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT COMPETITION ON A BACK ROAD
BREAKS DOWN THE DEFENCES

STEAMY WINDOWS - AIN'T NOBODY CAN SEE
STEAMY WINDOWS - COMING FROM THE BODY HEAT

THERE'S A SOUND OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR
AND I KNOW IT'S JUST THE WIND
BUT IT MAKES HER SNUGGLE UP JUST A LITTLE BIT CLOSER
AND IT STARTS THINGS HAPPENING AGAIN

STEAMY WINDOWS - ZERO VISIBILITY
STEAMY WINDOWS -COMING FROM THE BODY HEAT
STEAMY WINDOWS - STEAMY WINDOWS

I was thinking ‘bout showering the other night,

Getting ready in the wet room

Me and my carer can’t be getting it right

Guess we’re lucky it don’t overflow…

Steamy Glasses – Zero Visibility

Steamy Glasses

Coming from the shower heat!

Yeah we start each evening all ready and correct, with good intentions

But when the shower goes on it turns into some kind of snake…

Thought I ought to mention…

Steamy Glasses – Ain’t nobody can see

Steamy Glasses – Coming from the shower heat

Steamy Glasses…..  Steamy Glasses….